An Open Letter to my ISP
After WAY too many disconnects holding us up on a recent raid night, I’ve written the following letter to send to my ISPs customer service center. It amused me enough I’ve decided to share it with you guys too.
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Dear Internet Service Provider,
We’ve been together for 6 years now but recently your instability is endangering our relationship. I’ve always relied on you to protect my data as you take me all around the world (wide web). We’ve shared interests, games and even some more private moments. We’ve connected with friends and family. You’ve taken me to places I’ve never seen before and shown me things beyond my imagination.
Recently, you’ve been dropping out on me when I need you most. You’ve embarrassed me in front of my friends, and you’ve made me appear like someone they can’t count on. You laugh it off and say; “It’s only for a moment.” “What about all those other times I’ve been there for you?” “It’s not a big deal.” But it is a big deal. People DIE when I disconnect. I lose documents I’m in the middle of -
…..
- writing. Worst of all, every time it happens, I lose a little faith in you.
I know you’re going to tell me you can change. After everything we’ve been through together, I really hope we can make this work. But I think it’s fair to tell you there is a new guy in town. His name is FiOS and I’ve heard that he’s a real lady-pleaser. I’m sorry. I do care about you. However, if this instability continues, I might have to see if there’s an opportunity to make a connection with him.
Sincerely,
Auzara
Chick GM
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PS. Chick GM has now been viewed in 49 of the 50 states plus DC! Quick someone fetch me a reader from Wyoming!
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June 12th, 2008 at 6:39 am
Just the US of A???!!!
think bigger! think global!
get a reader from every country!
lets get the ball rolling. Im from Scotland, scratch that of your list.
June 12th, 2008 at 6:51 am
Hilarious, Auz.
June 12th, 2008 at 9:41 am
I’m originally from Wyoming…does that count?
June 12th, 2008 at 10:01 am
I actually switched from DSL to cable internet just so I could stay reliably connected during raids.
I’ve also trucked my entire rig over to a friend’s house and set it up so I could make a raid when my internet was down and his was up.
When ATT asked why I was quitting their service, I said “high repair bills due to disconnections.” I think it went over their heads.
June 12th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Okay, that’s hilarious. And with all of my connection issues lately, it makes it even funnier. If they screw up again, I think I’ll steal your letter. You don’t mind if I plagiarize, do you?
June 13th, 2008 at 6:20 am
I had a good snigger about that one. I recently broke up with my ISP too after a very bumpy year of cruddy internet connection.
In the netherlands they don’t ask you why you quit the service they simply keep billing you pretending you’re still a customer.
Pity I had nothing funny to say to them but on the other hand I did get about 400 euros back in the end hehe.
June 13th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
@Beaker If it helps I’ve been read in 59 countries too. It’s kinda of exciting to think about the fact that my blog’s been to more countries than I have!
@Bell <3
@grumpy Only if when you go home for a visit you stop by the site and say hi!
@Christina I admire your dedication chicka!
@lei Go for it babe! In most cases I ask for a link back, but in this case I’ll make an exception.
@Cap’n I’ve actually heard horror stories about some of the ISPs in the Netherlands I can only imagine the pain.
June 15th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Now viewed in New Zealand
June 17th, 2008 at 8:35 am
And way over ther ien Australia too.
Sadly I don’t know any Wyomingites (Wyomingians?) to point your way though..
Ammy
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Now viewed in singapore =D