So follow me here for a second.

Matt got Saresa up in arms about why Warlocks make great lovers after he declared that Warlocks are not his type. Matt then challenged his readers to defend the amorous virtues of their class. The challenge prompted Syd to highlight the virtues and pitfalls of a druidic lover. With me so far? Good!

I’m here to tell you they’ve got it all wrong. Regardless of class, GMs make the best lovers.

• Do it for the DKP - Sleeping your way to better loot is a time honered MMORPG tradition for a reason; it works! A wink and a nod from your GM can open a great many doors for you.

• We’re a real command act - Sar hinted she’s learned a few tricks from Domxia, but who do you think trained Domxia? Her GM that’s who. After leading a raid full of people to protect Azeroth from annihilation, your GM can certainly handle it if you want to hand over the reigns and let them lead.
• We’ve done our research - GMs are studious people who are used to needing to have all the answers. I’m certain your GM knows tips and tricks that the average lay person doesn’t.
• We’re dependable - You can’t be a GM for very long if you don’t do what you say you’ll do. You can count on your GM to keep their promises.

• We’re discrete - As GMs we’re often privy to more intimate knowledge of our teammates than the average person. We’ve learned how to keep our mouths shut and never kiss and tell.
• We’ll tell you exactly what we want - GMs have learned the advantages of giving people a clear, concise explanation of our expectations. Your GM will never tell you “If you really loved me you’d know what I want.”
• We have endurance - Sar mentioned a warlock’s endurance but that’s piddle compared to the strength and endurance it takes to keep members motivated and on track. Regardless of our hitpoints, we’ll keep going as long as we’re needed to get the job done.

• We know how to gather a crowd - If you’re into that kind of thing, you’ll find your GM has a knack for drawing people together to meet a common goal
• We’ll try anything once - We’re always up for something new that might improve our play.

Before you ask:

• No, this didn’t prevent you from getting real content. I wasn’t planning on writing today before I read Syd’s post.
• Yes, I’m still planning on following up the Wrath planning series.
• No, I’m not serious sleeping with your GM is a terrible idea. I mean sure it could be fun at first, but hell hath no fury like a pissed off GM. No matter how it ends, you’re screwed.
• Yes, I intended you’re screwed to be a pun.
• No, I won’t apologize for punning in public.

I was interviewed on World of Matticus today but when we got to the rapid fire section of the interview I turned the tables on Matt and Wyn. Anyone who’s been reading too long knows I can’t give single word answers. Below are Matt and Wyn’s single fire responses.

Ladies First: Here’s Wyn.
For those who don’t know Matt has a new woman in his life (well at least his internet life) Wyn has joined the writing team, and she’s very much the ying to his yang. Despite all stereotypes about women and Asians, she schools him in math.

Auz: I need rapid fire question for you before I publish my link

After WAY too many disconnects holding us up on a recent raid night, I’ve written the following letter to send to my ISPs customer service center. It amused me enough I’ve decided to share it with you guys too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Internet Service Provider,
We’ve been together for 6 years now but recently your instability is endangering our relationship. I’ve always relied on you to protect my data as you take me all around the world (wide web). We’ve shared interests, games and even some more private moments. We’ve connected with friends and family. You’ve taken me to places I’ve never seen before and shown me things beyond my imagination.

Recently, you’ve been dropping out on me when I need you most. You’ve embarrassed me in front of my friends, and you’ve made me appear like someone they can’t count on. You laugh it off and say; “It’s only for a moment.” “What about all those other times I’ve been there for you?” “It’s not a big deal.” But it is a big deal. People DIE when I disconnect. I lose documents I’m in the middle of -

…..

- writing. Worst of all, every time it happens, I lose a little faith in you.

I know you’re going to tell me you can change. After everything we’ve been through together, I really hope we can make this work. But I think it’s fair to tell you there is a new guy in town. His name is FiOS and I’ve heard that he’s a real lady-pleaser. I’m sorry. I do care about you. However, if this instability continues, I might have to see if there’s an opportunity to make a connection with him.

Sincerely,

Auzara

Chick GM

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PS. Chick GM has now been viewed in 49 of the 50 states plus DC! Quick someone fetch me a reader from Wyoming!

In my last post I broke down the structure of my guild’s application. That post was prompted by an application I received that made me shake my head. It’s been about a week since I got the app and I’m still shaking my head over it. So I’ve decided to expand on the last post and share with you some of the best, worst and scariest apps I’ve received in the past few months.

The Good

Why did you allocate your talent points where you did?: I experimented with a couple trees, but mostly influenced by shadowpriest.com for my spec and posts I read there. I feel that it maximizes by ability to mana regen my group and keep misery debuff on mobs. I also think it’s the best spec to maximize my dps with my current gear. As I get gear with better hit, the tree will change slightly.
This answer indicates he’s researched his class, and placed priority on the synergistic qualities of his class and spec.

What do you believe your class (and spec) brings to raids?: I believe COH priest are the best healers in a raid. We have a wide variety of heals that cater to every situation and also we can put out a large amount of effective healing.
I like to see confidence in applicants, if you don’t think you’re the best then why are you wasting my time? This confident app turned out to be mostly right, he’s an amazing AoE healer and puts out a large amount of effective healing. I, however, remain the best healer in the raid. (Sarcasm intended)

What do you believe your class (and spec) brings to raids?: The hunter class brings one handy tool to raids which is misdirect, can be very useful in the hands of a skilled hunter to be able to help out keeping healers alive that may be getting whacked on in certain situations or to just help the tank establish a strong aggro base for boss fights. Other than that we’re a high dps class if played well that doesn’t need group synergy with other classes to be able to perform.
What he lacks in sentence structure, he made up for in completely nailing what we expect out of our hunters. I especially like that his answer indicates that he doesn’t rely on a synergy group.

What do you anticipate your raid attendance will be if we were to offer you a raiding position within our guild?: I can attend every raid. This semester, I have a class ending at 6:30 on Thursday, so I may be 5-10 minutes late for the Thursday invites.
Sweet. This tells me he didn’t mindlessly tell us 100% and it’s good information to have.

What do you want out of being in a guild?: Teamwork environment. Raiders that enjoy raiding and are willing to do the work, including wipe, to learn and master the encounters. Being that my balance druid raided balance prior to TBC, open minded on the abilities of the players and classes available to them for an encounter. People with a good sense of humor.
That describes us, without being too generic, though it is still pretty generic answer.

Tell us about your last guild and why you are looking for a new home.: [Name removed]. This question is a struggle as my decision to leave [Name removed] is a personal decision and I don’t want to air “dirty laundry.” All I really want to say is this is based on recent changes in raiding attitudes and behaviors. If you wish more of an explanation, please contact me in game.
I liked the respect this applicant gave her former guild despite having pretty serious personality conflicts with the leadership of that guild.

We ask you to prepare yourself for a new boss encounter, how do you go about this?: Get reagents together, get some gold, get some beer to soften the wipes, load my handgun in case I need to become an hero. Make sure I read up on Bosskillers so I know exactly what not to do.
This single answer got this applicant an initiation opportunity within our guild.

The Bad

Why did you allocate your talent points where you did?: Excellent solo play, and the occasional time I get to group
This is not a solo guild.

What do you believe your class (and spec) brings to raids?: I bring the best my class can offer, I chose a paladin because it has a higher survivability rate, wearing plate and using shields, meaning I will not be one shoted by a boss like a priest.
This answer scares me, because plate or not, you’re going to get one shotted by a boss. Also how does this guy play that he’s managing to pull aggro as a paladin healer?

What do you believe your class (and spec) brings to raids?: I believe it will bring DPS, CC is sum cases, and also missdirects.
I hate poor spelling and bad grammar. I don’t want “sum” showing up in my guild chat on a regular basis. Maybe that’s petty, but I’m the GM so what I want sometimes matters, even if it is petty.

Pre-BC raid experience: I ended up reaching Level 60 as soon as BC came out, so I never really went into the instances, just continued up to 70. The thought had crossed my mind but ofcourse my friends would leave me behind if i didn’t continue to level. Yes yes I know.. I said friends… I had some back then *cry
Maybe this was meant to be cute, but it rubbed me the wrong way.

What do you anticipate your raid attendance will be if we were to offer you a raiding position within our guild?:I will be able to make possibly all of the raids, with exceptions of work and school and certain family issues.
Um, duh?

Tell us about your last guild and why you are looking for a new home.: [Name Removed] on Kael’Thas. I entered the guild, started asking simple questions, and was promoted to officer after a few months because I wasn’t a retard. I left because after beating HARDMODE bosses like Solarian, VR, Lurker we were running into walls of shitty healing, shitty tanking and retarded DPS, and a Raid Leader that called for breaks so he could get more stoned. But this isn’t a QQ session, and they’ve since gone on to become a 5/6 3/4 SSC TK + 2/4 MH guild. Whoooo.
While this applicant took me up on my opportunity to make a jerk of himself, the rest of his app was good. I interviewed him and realized this was the product of frustration. This guy is now a contributing member of the guild; he still gets grumpy when he’s frustrated.

Tell us about your last guild and why you are looking for a new home.: [Name Removed] has nice people but i dont like that they raid with DKP , i havnt done DKP since mc , onyx ect feels outdated .
We use a DKP system.

What do you want out of being in a guild?: When I join a guild, I expect people to respect my time and in exchange, I respect theirs. So much fucking time is wasted in wow because people aren’t prepared and/or don’t pay attention during raids. If you join a raid and you don’t know the strategies, you’re wasting 24 peoples time, which is pretty damn selfish.

Also, I enjoy joking around in g-chat, dropping metalocalypse references and frequently linking to southpark clips and lolcats. I like getting to know people and running alts through instances and the like. I also -LOVE- ganking lowbies and camping instance stones, but y’all are on a pve server …You really don’t know what you’re missing
If you like pvp so much, stay on a pvp server. This guy does have some points, but he made a jerk of himself and it wasn’t even the question where he was supposed to.

What do you know about The Guild, and how do you know it?:
they raid ssc and other raiding instances, ive seen them around and played with some of the people in the guild
We don’t raid SSC actually….

What do you know about The Guild, and how do you know it?: From what i have herd they are a great guild and a great raiding guild to be apart of
Did I mention I’m not a fan of poor spelling? I think this is a great raiding guild for you to be apart of (from) too.

The WHAT were you thinking?

Why did you allocate your talent points where you did?: I absolutley LOVE to heal. I play a healing class in all RPGs.
This is not an answer to question I asked.

What do you believe your class (and spec) brings to raids?: Im a VERY well rounded player ive cleared illidan 100 times on my shaman , i know how to keep things rolling. Totems/ VE/VT my spell rotations are accurate to the notch,.
Wait you have Totems and VE? Also the character linked (A shaman) was Friendly with the Deathsworn Ashtongue.

How long have you been playing WoW?: I started playing wow two years ago with four friends from work, all in the 27+ age group, with one of them being 250lbs, gay, and bald. They are all cool peopel but alas we eventually parted ways. one was into pvp and I started realy playing a lot more. Oh and I don’t have anything against gays , nor am I a homophobe. In fact Im quite into women thank you very much. hence my hot sexy toon
Well I’m glad we’ve cleared that up.

What do you anticipate your raid attendance will be if we were to offer you a raiding position within our guild?:Thursday-Sunday might be able to make Monday and Tuesday on some days.
That’s nice, we raid Sunday to Thursday and require 75% attendance. I’m glad you did your homework before you apped.

Tell us about your last guild and why you are looking for a new home.:
[Name Removed]. I was in the guild for only a few days, and after some stupid forum drama, (some retard accused me of being a “ninja accomplice” <--What the hell is that? Anyway.. They kicked me saying it wasn't worth the chances because they had recently had some ninjas in there guild. So I actually know the GM of [Name Removed] and the whole story ended up being that he’d ninja’d two items. The first time he got a warning because the facts couldn’t be 100% confirmed. The second time he ninja’d an item from an officer of their guild and was removed.

Tell us about your last guild and why you are looking for a new home.: My last guild i was in, was on Rexxar, named [Name Removed]. I was asked to leave because my CL was threatening to kill himself over me. I was told it was over my constantly asking why i would raid for 2 months, then would sit out for 1 month.
Your last class leader wanted to kill himself because of you? I’m not sure I’d advertise that.

What do you want out of being in a guild?: to have fun and raid on my preist and make GOOD friends not fags like the ones ive met in this guild that i xfered my shaman to. I need a new home.
Goodness! That’s a strong word for an application.

Who do you know in The Guild?:Oppomcpuff, corey
This person is not in my guild.

Lyrics by Anna of http://toomanyannas.com

This is the product of the evil corruption of BA Chat.